Over the last few weeks Dustin has been managing his level very well. He hardly ever seems to be over 130, and that is typically when he wakes thanks to what is called "the dawn phenomenon" Outisde of that, his number have been awesome. Actually, better than awesome... they have been encouraging!! And with the Type 1 game, you will take "encouraging" any day of the week. That is why last night was so discouraging :o(
Last night we grabbed Rubios for dinner since we needed something quick and easy since Dustin is finishing up his summer school class this week. "2 taco plate, grilled mahi mahi, hold the cheese, and corn tortillas please." Now maybe the corn tortillas and corn tortilla chips weren't the best, but Dustin has been eating corn tortillas lately and they haven't seemed to affect his numbers at all. He ate his dinner, continued to study, and two hours later took his numbers....
From another room in the house, I hear the sounds that I have become all to familiar with. Frist, the lid pops and I know he is grabbing a test strip. The priming of the lancet before he pricks his finger, and the final beep of the glucometer telling him his blood sugar levels. So I call out from our office and say "What was your number?" Only to hear "I don't know... something must be wrong with my glucometer, I'm going to wash my hands." My stomach sinks because I know that this is never good. And then I hear all the sounds over again, holding my breath for a good number. But instead I hear footprints heading my direction. And this time, he just shows me the glucometer screen... 287
287?? Wait - this has to be a mistake. There is no way that he can be 287. That is impossible. "Are you sure that's right?" I asked. And he told me it is, that it was the same number he got the first time, before he went to wash his hands. Was it the corn? Is it the stress from having a test, project and paper due in the next three days? Dustin took a few units of insulin, and we waited to see what would happen next. 30 minutes go by, and Dustin came in to the office to do the testing right next to me. Again, I hear popping, pricking and beeping.... 48!! Now this is making no sense, and I am worried. 48 is way to low, so we now have to compensate with some food, but have faith in absolutely nothing. Its a game... a frustrating and emotional game. I was up all night, worried that he might drop low during the evening and not even know it. I felt like I was watching a baby sleep - just waiting to see their chest rise.
I was reading another Type 1 blog a while ago and found this in one of the posts, something I very much relate to.
I still seem to be going through a certain mourning. After 7 and a half years I should be over it right? That's what people keep telling me. That and it's not cancer. I really appreciate the thought and feel very lucky that it isn't cancer and that we get to keep Adele for now, but it still is Type 1 Diabetes and unless you're a fellow Type 1 gamer or you've lived in our shoes you have no idea what it's like.
Going through the day to day motions of constant monitoring, counting, calculating, bolusing, testing, guesstimating, not sleeping through the night... now seems somewhat normal. We've become very good at making it seem like we have everything under control at all times which is really not the case. Experienced Type 1 gamers are very good at creating the appearance of health and being normal. And no one really wants to hear about it all after a while. They just want to move on. For us, that old news isn't going away anytime soon. It's in our face 24/7.
Thankfully God has thick skin and broad shoulders, because we both have had quite a few angry conversations with Him over this during the last year. But we know that He can take it, and in the end it is in Him that we find comfort.
I'm so sad! Does Dustin talk to his doctor about how to handle a situation like that? Nancy
ReplyDeleteLove you guys! K
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